Holistic Mind -Body Connections:
Journey of Self-Compassion
Group Agenda.
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Week 1: Loving Yourself.
This week we will learn about what self compassion is and what it isn’t, and the benefits. You will learn about self lymphatic massage and helpful mindfulness techniques to compassionately south your self.
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Week 2: Internal Messaging
In week 2 you will learn the importance of internal messaging. How to release tension in your shoulders the relax and let go of negativity and how to relax your whole body to be more present.
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Week 3: Vulnerability.
This week we will explore being vulnerability and why it matters in being compassionate to yourself. You will also get a chance to learn about mindfulness and it’s connection to the body when utilizing self massage.
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Week 4: Allowing Emotions
In our final week you will consider emotions. Allowing yourself to experience and process your emotions is important. We will also focus on releasing emotions and how our bodies hold emotions.
Week 1: Loving yourself
Takeaway: Loving yourself is not selfish, it is acknowledging your lived experience, offering yourself kindness, and providing yourself the care and concern that you need.
Grounding: Box Breathing
Step 1: Breathe in, counting to four slowly. Feel the air enter your lungs.
Step 2: Hold your breath for 4 seconds. Try to avoid inhaling or exhaling for 4 seconds.
Step 3: Slowly exhale through your mouth for 4 seconds.
Step 4: Wait for another 4 seconds before you breathe in again.
Body technique: Lymphatic Massage
Using our senses to help us sooth our activated/stressed self can provide comfort and peace.
You can use any of the senses to help change your thoughts when stressed
Vision: watch a sunrise, look at the stars, sunset or beautiful scene like the beach, you can watch something real or look at a picture or imagine yourself there.
Sounds can relax you, listen to sounds, rain/ocean/brook, favorite music, podcast/book with a peaceful topic, or go outside.
Smell can connect us to positive memories and calm us down. Light a candle, put on lotion/oil/perfume, smell a food that you especially love or that smells comforting.
Touch – put on a cozy sweater, put on warm clothes from a dryer, take a bath or shower, pet/snuggle with a pet, give yourself comforting touch.
Taste = eat a food that is tied to a good memory, have some tea/coffee/hot chocolate, eat chocolate or have tart candy.
Mind/Body: Self-Soothe Visualization
Adaptogenic Snack: Apothékary
(Get $20 off if you follow this link)
Journal prompt: Love Letter to Self - Write a letter to yourself, expressing your strengths, qualities, and appreciation for yourself.
Week 2: Internal Messaging
Takeaway: The stories we tell ourselves about our illness/circumstances/challenges matter more than what is actually happening to us.
Body technique: Lymphatic Massage
Grounding: Progressive Muscle Relaxation
Learning how to deal with stress is a necessary part of life everyone deals with stress differently finding what works for you is important
I will walk you through this easy stress relieving activity progressive muscle relaxation helps you relax your mind relax your body reduce tension, focus your mind, and calm you down
here's how it works tense each muscle group hold the tension for 5 seconds release the tension feel the muscle relax try to visualize the muscle tensing and relaxing remember to keep breathing deeply through the exercise try to focus hard on each step if your mind begins to wonder bring it back to the muscle you are working on
let's start with your head close and tighten your eyes tense all muscles in your cheeks tighten all the muscles around your lips and press your tongue to the roof of your mouth hold that tension for five 4 3 2 1 quickly release and relax
now your shoulders chest and back raise your shoulders to your ears tense your back by pulling your shoulders back hold that tension for 5 4 3 2 one quickly release and relax onto your
hands fingers and arms bend your wrist and tighten your hands into your fist flex your biceps hold that tension for five 4 3 21 quickly release and relax
now for your belly pull your belly button in and tense all the muscles in your stomach hold that tension for 5 4 3 2 one quickly release and relax
moving on to your legs and your feet tighten your thighs by pressing your knees together pull your toes towards you and feel tension in your calf thighs and feet hold that tension for 54 3 2 one quickly release and relax
breathe deeply and imagine a peaceful sensation flowing from your head down your neck into your chest legs and settling into the soles of your feet repeat this process when necessary until you feel calm and peaceful (PMR (Progressive Muscle Relaxation) to Help Release Tension, Relieve Anxiety or Insomnia, youtube.com/@relaxforawhile)
Adaptogenic Snack: Moon Brew Hot Chocolate
Journal prompt: List 10 reasons to get up in the morning and embrace what the day brings. Where is the good in this, what could go right, how do I want to feel
Week 3: Vulnerability
Takeaway: Vulnerability is the birthplace of love. Remind yourself that the process of being vulnerable rewards us with connection, empathy and joy.
Body technique: Self-massage
Grounding: Mindfulness
Adaptogenic Snack: Rebbl drink
Journal prompt: How would I treat a friend? Take a recent stressful experience, consider the difficulties & challenges. Write down how you would respond to the situation and what you would tell your friend that is going through this difficulty.
Week 4: Allowing Emotions
Takeaway: Mindfulness gives space to our painful emotions
Body Technique: Reflexology
Simple Self-Hand Reflexology (5-Minute Reset)
Step 1: Warm Up (30 sec)
- Rub your hands together fast until warm.
- Shake them out like you're flicking water off.
Step 2: Thumb Walk the Palm (1 min)
- Use your thumb to press and 'walk' across your opposite palm.
- Cover the whole palm in little steps-up, down, side to side.
- Stop and press longer on sore or gritty spots (those are your reflex zones lighting up).
Step 3: Finger Roll (1 min)
- Gently pinch and roll each finger from base to tip.
- Tug each fingertip lightly at the end (like unplugging tension).
Step 4: Side Swipe (1 min)
- Use your thumb to massage the outside edge of your hand, from wrist to pinky.
- Do little circles and firm strokes-this helps your spine and nervous system.
Step 5: Center Press & Breathe (1 min)
- Press your thumb into the center of your palm.
- Close your eyes. Take 3 slow breaths in and out while holding the pressure.
Optional Add-on
Rub in a drop of essential oil (like peppermint, lavender, or orange) at the start or end.
Grounding: Release Painful Emotions
Consider an emotion for a moment. Do not worry about whether the emotion is important information or not at this time. Instead do the following:
Point out the emotion: name it and recognize it. What emotion is it? Anger, sadness, guilt, shame, jealously, etc.
Acknowledge the emotion: Curiously observe the emotion cognitively “Hmm I’m feeling _______, how interesting. What were you thinking about that brought on this emotion? Why did it show up? Does it connect with how discomfort you are feeling?
Experience the emotion: let your self feel it building, ebbing and the flowing away. Do not force it out of your experience, it will only come back later. Don’t attach a judgment to it either, it could become more painful.
Receive and Reset: This is merely an emotion, it is not a part of you. Don’t attach a judgement to you or the emotion or react to it. Just notice the emotion and release it. Select an image to associate with the emotion like a cloud that just dissipated or a water bottle that you just emptied out, or a match you just extinguished. The emotion no longer has power.
Use this process often to work through emotions during your day.
Journal prompt: List 10 ways you can be kinder and more compassionate to yourself.
Journal Prompts for Self Compassion
What is one simple adjustment you can make to your morning routine to help you care for yourself as you prepare for the day?
What is one expectation you have of yourself that you can stop pressuring yourself to meet?
What stressful circumstance are you currently facing? If you had a friend in the same situation, what advice would you give them?
In what ways are you letting your circumstances determine your stress levels? What 3 things can you do to take charge of how you feel?
What was a problem you had this week, and how did you handle it? Brainstorm other solutions that also could have worked.
What is one new skill you could learn that would help you handle a current stressful situation? How can you start learning it?
What is one thing you can remove from your everyday schedule to create more space for rest and self-care?
Did you recently make a mistake and get upset with yourself? What can you say to yourself now to replace beating yourself up with grace and self-compassion?
In what area of your life would you like to be more organized? What advice would you give to a friend to achieve that goal? Write down 5 practical action steps.
What’s one thing that you feel scared to do, even though you know it’s important? How would a close friend encourage you to overcome that fear?
Are you holding a grudge against someone? What do you need to do to forgive and forget?
What is one small way you can adjust your evening routine to promote true rest at night?
Write a note to yourself 5 years ago. Try to build up your past self with some advice and encouragement to get through what’s coming.
In what ways can you be more gentle with yourself? Write down 3 of them.
Take a look at your to-do list. What is one thing you’re expecting yourself to do that is not actually necessary or is not the best use of your time?
What is currently making you feel disappointed? How would a friend or loved one encourage you about this situation?
What helps you feel safe, held, and supported? How can you include this in your life when you feel stressed?
How can you better use your words and self-talk to build yourself up? What words should you stop using?
Are you taking time to relax and care for yourself? If not, what can you do to make that time?
Write a note to yourself 5 years in the future. Honestly describe what your life is like right now. Then, tell your future self what you hope your life will be like then, but reassure your future self that it’s okay if everything isn’t as you hope.
Reflect on a time when you made a positive difference in someone’s life. What did this experience teach you about loving others?
What is a problem that has been giving you anxiety lately? If you were talking to an encouraging, supportive friend about it, what questions would they ask you? Answer the questions honestly and try to see the problem from different perspectives.
How would you spend a full day doing only things that make you feel relaxed, happy, and fulfilled? Choose one or two of those things to do this weekend.
What is great in your life right now? What current situations are you thankful for?
What have you been giving most of your energy to lately? What would you like to devote more energy to?
What expectations of others can you let go of?
How would it feel if you conquered stress for good? Write down 5 affirmations you would tell a good friend about their ability to achieve this. For example, “You are capable of living with complete calm.” “Stress doesn’t own you.” etc.
What is one thing you can forgive yourself for?
What is an impossible standard you’re holding yourself to? How can you adjust that standard to be more realistic?
Taking into account everything you’ve learned with these prompts, write down 3 practical ways you can give yourself and others more grace.
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Resources
Chronic Pain Reset, Afton L. Hassett, PsyD
Apothekary.com
https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/quizzes/take_quiz/self_compassion
https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/the_five_myths_of_self_compassion
https://www.mindful.org/the-transformative-effects-of-mindful-self-compassion/
https://positivepsychology.com/self-acceptance/
https://www.calminggrace.com/self-compassion-journal-prompts/
https://self-compassion.org/
Daring Greatly - Brene Brown
High Conflict Couple - Alan E. Fruzzetti
https://youtu.be/GZ9PHsbt-m4?feature=shared
https://youtu.be/86HUcX8ZtAk?feature=shared
https://positivepsychology.com/how-to-practice-self-compassion/
https://positiveyoungmind.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/8-Guided-Mindfulness-Meditations-Pack.pdf